As we already know planning a wedding is almost every girl’s dream! You come from the womb believing that this fairytale will become a reality. However, as that day drawers near you begin to face “real reality”. You question who your TRUE friends are, how much you can REALLY AFFORD to spend and the purpose behind CELEBRATING…is it just another social gathering or a day to celebrate the union between you and your soon-to-be spouse? These are just a few of the thoughts I have had in this planning process. With the help of my level headed fiancé and lots of prayer for patience pants we were able to weed through things like this during the earlier stages of planning after my almost mental wedding breakdown!
Strike 1: Oh glorious plantation…NOT. As most you can probably imagine I wanted a very lavish and elegant wedding. After all I do love social gatherings and spectular fashion so naturally the glam-esque wedding concept is what I gravitated towards first! Shortly after visiting a few possible venues, I soon realized that a Kim Kardashian wedding was not going to work for the budget as Jason and I were paying for the majority of the expenses with some help from our families. I must admit I was tad depressed to learn that my dreams of having a glamorous plantation wedding was simply out of the question. I tried to crunch the numbers every way humanly possible, but it just was not there. I mean $5,000 for a venue is not exactly chump change and to be completely honest I don’t think that your average bride cannot really afford to spend that kind of money unless momma and daddy are footing the bill entirely and even then that price point could be a stretch. Anywho, to make a long story short…Pebble HIll Plantation would not be the venue for the Howard/Read wedding.
Strike 2: The magical guest list. I am sure that one could already assume that I had pretty high expectations for a large guest list and not to mention…I’m from the South and Southern folks don’t play about their invitations to major life event for people that they know. Doesn’t really matter if we know that person on a surface, superficial level or have known them for a lifetime…it’s just a natural expectation. And I must say I am southern belle that likes to follow all of the traditional rules! However, in my pursuit to host an event that was not only amazing, but affordable put immediate limitations on the number of guest I could invite, which made me very uncomfortable. Especially considering the large number of friendships and relationships I had cultivated with folks from various phases in my life. Yet again, I found myself crunching numbers trying to make things work out as I had imagined, but guess what? To no avail. In the words of my granddaddy, “money doesn’t grown on trees,” although I was sure trying hard to plant one in the back yard. Also, in the beginning phases of planning of our wedding, I was in the middle of a huge life transition to New York City, which isn’t exactly the cheapest city in the world where I would be attending one of the most expensive private institutions ever…so my number crunching did not only include wedding expenses but life survival for the big apple! To survive or to have a fabulous wedding..I think survival!
Strike 3: Learning to share the wedding dream so the day reflects US and not just me! Frustration had really set in at this point in time. I can remember trying to explain things to Jason and he would be matter of fact with me, which made me a not so happy camper! I just did not understand why he did not understand my point of view about things. Of course I thought that my perception on wedding planning was the only way it could/would be done for this girl. Proven wrong. Unlike most grooms, Jason actually wanted to play a role in planning process, which is a dream come true/pain in the butt as most of us gals want the day to be all about “ME” and rightfully so. It is one of the few days in your life that you get to a princess! However, a princess cannot rule a kingdom without the help of her prince charming. Besides…sharing is caring!
The Home Run: After a rather long FaceTime come to Jesus meeting with Jason we were able resolve most of the gray areas! We set a budget of $10,000 and decided that we would make it work to the best of our abilities. And I am proud to say that we have! Granted our families have chipped in to cover major cost like photography, the bar, florals and things of that nature, otherwise we’ve covered it! Although this is not the wedding I had initially dreamed of, I am sooo thrilled as to how it has evolved! To be honest I love it 200% more than what I had originally envisioned for this day. It will indeed be lovely!
So I share all of this to remind my brides and fairytale dreamers to remember these 3 things as your big day approaches:
1. Be Realistic. It will make the process much easier. Especially the budget part.
2. Include Him. Even though he may say that he does not care still ask him his opinion! He will appreciate the fact that you value his input.
3. Enjoy. This is one day of your forever! So marvel in it. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Cheers to wedding season as it is now in full swing!
P.S. In May Live, Love and Read will be wedding central! I’ll be posting lots of groovy things to help you and your friends! Also, we’ll have a guest blogger that month! Get excited.